"I'm back" says El Presidente! But, I could do with some help!
Finally after 9 long days of rebel forces running amok El Presidente regains power.
“After 9 days of turmoil, with rebel forces on all sides, and even my palace under threat the fighting is finally over.” - Said El Presidente earlier today.
Security measures for El Presidente!
Well guys I’m finally back. Having had only intermittent internet access over the last 9 days, during which I’ve been locked out of Facebook, Instagram, most of my email accounts, my banking screens, and my own website, due to my own overly zealous security protocols, this afternoon I finally got my laptop.
To ensure maximum security for our website there are only 3 devices that have permission to access the site. With computers and phones etc, each processor inside has it’s own unique serial number. These are unique to every single processor chip manufactured. To be able to access the back screens of the website the processor ID number has to be one of the ones authorised for access. This way it ensures even if someone got hold of our passwords they wouldn’t be able to access the website unless it was on a device that had been preapproved and it’s processor ID added to the access list.
Only my desktop PC, this laptop, and my phone, have access permissions. With Simon having the laptop, Neil using my desktop PC at his house, and my phone currently offline, this meant that I was unable to get onto the website, or access virtually all of my online accounts. I couldn’t add a new device either because only my currently offline phone has permission to do so. Today Simon brought me the laptop, and getting back access to my website, feels like being reunited with an old friend.
Personal update
Ok, so for those that don’t already know the last 2 weeks have been utter chaos all around. I wish to thank very much all of the kind words of support from so many of you over the last decade o so in general, and over the last 14 days in particular. The good news is that after all this turmoil things are looking pretty good, or, at the very least are heading the right way.
Changes of ownership
After many changes over the last few days and weeks, we finally today reached a point of stability today. So as you may already know Peter is no longer part of the company. I’m genuinely sad to see him go, but, that is the way it is has to be. I very much hope that any past disagreements will be forgotten and we can regain an amicable friendship again.
Simon and Sarah have also decided today that on reflection, it hadn’t worked out for them as they had hoped it would, and so they are now also not part of the operation anymore.
So after much juggling around that leaves me and Neil as joint owners, with Neil having 25% of the company, and 75% being mine. Neil previously only had 10% of the company, and I haven’t told him yet that I’d decided to give him 15% more out of my share, so the first he’ll know about it is when he reads this. He’s certainly earned it, having to put up with me all these years though! I’d really appreciate it if when I post this to Facebook everyone could comment with a “Well done @Neil Kirk”, and tag him in it if you can, but, not tell him why in the comments, because it would be absolutely brilliant if Neil’s phone just starts pinging with loads of people congratulating him and he has absolutely no idea why!
We also have Dwayne starting with us for a trial period later this month. Dwayne is a fellow ex World of Warcraft player, and his swift keyboard skills, and tolerance for grinding (grinding is performing similar actions over and over again in pc geek talk), will prove invaluable in taking some of the less exciting web jobs off me. With his talents for smiling even in thee face of adversity, and his pro-level skills at demolishing pizza and fried chicken, he should fit in just fine!
Will he live?
Well there’s good news and bad news here. Despite being arrested (and released without charge I hasten to add), sectioned, diagnosed with a brain tumour, etc, it looks like none of those things are really going to keep me down for much longer. I’m hoping to leave hospital next week, and apart from popping back for MRI scans every now and again to keep an eye on me, and having to take some meds 2-3 times a week for a while to shrink the tumour, the good news is I’m going to live. The only bad news really being for all my haters, and that is that I’m afraid I’m going to live!
Other issues
Ok, so we still face a few other issues. The main one being the 26 month long dispute with the landlady regarding the lease, due to various legal issues caused by it still being solely in the name of my old business partner, and dear friend, the sadly deceased Dale Frankland. The good news is that I think we’ve finally got a solution arranged, and current disruption to the shop (which is currently closed to the general public), should all be resolved by the end of this month.
The current lease expires in November this year, and it looks likely that we will be either signing a new 6 year lease starting in November this year to run to November 2028, or, we may be purchasing the building if a deal can be struck. We haven’t ruled out moving in November 2022 as yet, so that may still happen, but, if so we’re unlikely to move from Mildenhall, and wold prefer to stay on the same industrial estate as we are on now.
Special thanks
First of all particularly special thanks for so much support over this time from all the Salty Revolution staff, customers, suppliers, and fans, and particular thanks to; Simon & Sarah (plus many kids), Neil Kirk, Daz, Peter Fox, David Jones, Emily Watson, Maureen Martin, Stephen Bush, Dwayne, Drew, Callum (and friends), Sandra, and Ryan “Mr Wolf” Hughes. Plus of course all the many many others that have helped me over this time.
Also of course many thanks to all the hospital staff here that have helped me through thick and thin, especially Mark, Herbet and Vik. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, with despite all these troubles, a smile on my face without all the help of each and every one of you.
A special gift
Everyone that has placed an order between 1st June and 16th June will be receiving a special gift to thank them for continuing to support us through all our troubles. I’m not sure exactly what that will be yet, but, I’m thinking of getting something Salty Revolution themed as a special reward for each and every one of you loyal soldiers of El Presidente.
What next?
Well this bit is fairly straightforward really. All of you guys with pending orders should receive all of your stuff by Sunday 26th June. Many of you will receive your goods before then, but, that should be the longest anyone has to wait all being well. The store should hopefully open later this month by appointment only, and return to being open to the general public on Sunday 3rd July. These dates may change as yet, but, hopefully not much.
Is Salty Rev OK?
As a whole the business is financially stable, with just over 9x as much money in assets as we owe in bills and loans, however, as with any business whilst having lots of stock and assets is great, but, most places don’t accept corals and inverts as currency (except maybe Money cowries). So although mid term and long term it’s all good, a few extra pennies in the penny jar right now, would make life a lot easier. So we could do with a little help from all you guys.
Help El Presidente!
Donate to the Revolution and claim your place on the wall of heroes!
How can we all help?
As many of you may know (despite no doubt rumours to the contrary) I tend to try and help others as much as I can. However, whilst mostly everyone enjoys it when they can help others, it’s far more difficult to ask for help. I thought long and hard about this.
#Awkward
In all honesty I’d prefer not to be in a position of asking, and the only way I’ve forced myself to do this, is that I know if the shoe was on the other foot I am also happy to help others where I can, so if I’m happy to donate to others, then maybe others would be just as happy to donate to help me. Obviously if this isn’t to your liking then I understand and feel free to scroll past, no offence would ever be taken, it’s only a gift if it’s given as a choice, and of your own free will.
Ooo we get something!
To soften it slightly, you will get something for your donation. I thought about including dry goods, or merch, but, that’s just a sale offer really and while getting stuff is obviously great, I wanted to do something that better recognised the fact that when I’ve had possibly the hardest time of my life, and at times everything seemed as fragile as a snowflake in summertime, you guys stood by me shoulder to shoulder and protected me (and El Presidente) from some of the troubles in my world. So this is what I have decided to do.
You will be remembered!
To show the world that you loyal soldiers of the Revolution stood by El Presidente in his time of greatest need I’m going to put up a huge plaque inside the shop. It will be a little like a war memorial in style, with the names on it of every single soldier of the Revolution that fought to help our glorious leader El Presidente. Each and every person that makes a donation, even if it’s just £1 will have their name emblazoned forever on the wall of Salty Revolution. Then when you visit store, or watch one of our live videos, you’ll be able to see your name on that wall, and know that when the clouds gathered, and rebels were on all sides, you stepped forward to protect El Presidente and his realm!
El Capitan!
To keep with the military theme each size of donation will have it’s own military rank, so for just £1 you can forever be seen to be a Soldier of the Revolution, with higher ranks for larger donations, all the way up to La Generale status. I thought this is a far more fitting tribute to the sacrifices made in these rebellious times! As an added bonus anyway feeling really excessively generous and donating to one of the top ranks they will get their name and face (optional) immortalised forever on every large bottle of Revolution! There’s only a limited number of spaces on the bottle though.
How this works and T&C
The names on the wall will be listed by rank, with the highest ranks listed first. Then rather than listing the names alphabetically for each rank, we’ll list them in the order they donated, so those that are among the first to rush to the defence of El Presidente will have their names listed first!
Now obviously knowing what you lot are like, giving you free reign to choose the name that appears on the wall of fame is a recipe for disaster, but, I’m no stranger to disaster, so we might as well! This also gives you the chance to have the names of your kids, pets, favourite rock from your collection of rocks, whatever, however, I’m reserving the right to ask you to pick again (possibly several times) if I deem the name as inappropriate. I have to add that clause as otherwise we’re going to end up with a whole wall of Captain Poo Pants, and Sergeant Maidenhead Forever’s, etc! Anything sensible (or only slightly ridiculous) up to 20 characters is cool, also keep to the standard 26 letters of the English alphabet, because I don’t want to accidentally include names in languages that I don’t know what that says in that language.
Despite all these caveats I can’t help but feel this is still going to be abused somewhat by some, but, as long as it’s funny and not offensive, or, only mildly offensive, I’ll probably let it slide by.
